fReEMaN-ster

Note: I just borrowed this article… nice reading.. thanks.

Are You Looking or Waiting?

Many single people who say they’re ready to get married and settle down aren’t. They’re not psychologically prepared or they’re hanging back, passively waiting for Mr. or Ms. Right to pop into their lives. This might describe you without you being aware of it. How can you know? Not Prepared? Here’s how to tell if you’re prepared. Try to visualize success in finding someone. Close your eyes and picture yourself on your own wedding day. Imagine yourself all dressed up (or dressed in a toga or whatever if you’re a non-traditionalist). See your family and friends. Hear the wedding music. See your bride or groom. Try to picture that person. Imagine yourself saying "I do." Imagine how you would feel. Are you having problems with the visualization? Sure, no one knows exactly what their bride or groom is going to look like before they’ve met them, but if the visualization of a marriage or commitment ceremony makes you squirm, you may have a mental block about commitment. If you do have a mental block, repeating this simple exercise may help you get past it. In most aspects of life, from sports to business, those who succeed say they repeatedly visualize their success. If you can’t even picture yourself hitting the ball or pulling off a killer business presentation, you’re probably not going to be able to actually do it. The same applies to achieving a long- term committed relationship. Hanging Back? Here’s how to tell if you’re hanging back and passively waiting, even if it doesn’t seem like you are. Are you forcing yourself to endure the boring rituals of dating services or singles clubs? Have you tried any new way of meeting people recently? If you’re only looking in ways you’re already comfortable with, you’re not stretching. Unless you’re willing to try something new, at the risk being a little uncomfortable, you may be slipping into passivity. For example, are you willing to go out alone to parties and social events? It’s always easier to meet someone, and for them to meet you, if you’re not clustered together with buddies or girlfriends, or worrying about what they’ll think if you strike up a conversation with someone who looks interesting but not movie-star attractive. If you have trouble talking to people and making new friends, push yourself to follow the Nike ad — "just do it." See "Flirting and Meeting 101" for some practical advice on the subject. Try new ways of being open to meeting new people. Smile at strangers (as long as you’re in a safe setting). Let the world know you’re ready to have a real relationship. Ask friends to fix you up. Don’t be shy about admitting you’re really serious and want a relationship. Don’t let the stigma attached to personal ads keep you from trying them. And despite "The Pitfalls of CyberLove", online dating and matchmaking services are also worth a shot. However, per my article "Going beyond E-mail", I urge you to be very careful about how and where you get together with someone you’ve met either online or through a personal ad. Expose yourself to a lot of "possibles," and continue to refine your criteria for a life partner (see "Developing Realistic Criteria"). By meeting more people, you’ll also get better at evaluating them for their marriage or long term relationship potential. Even if you believe you’re already expert at sizing someone up, please read "Qualifying Someone" before getting carried away with a new person you’ve met.

Depression, situational depression, more properly, a depressed mood, may in everyday English refer to a state of melancholia, unhappiness or sadness, or to a relatively minor downturn in mood that may last only a few hours or days. This is quite distinct from the medical diagnosis of clinical depression. However, if depressed mood lasts at least two weeks, and is accompanied by other symptoms that interfere with daily living, it may be seen as a symptom of clinical depression, dysthymia or some other diagnosable mental illness, or alternatively as sub-syndromal depression.

In the field of psychiatry, the word depression can also have this meaning of low mood but more specifically refers to a mental illness when it has reached a severity and duration to warrant a diagnosis; The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) states that a depressed mood is often reported as being: "… depressed, sad, hopeless, discouraged, or ‘down in the dumps’." In a clinical setting, a depressed mood can be something a patient reports (a symptom), or something a clinician observes (a sign), or both.

A depressed mood is generally situational and reactive, and associated with grief, loss, or a major social transition. A change of residence, marriage, divorce, the break-up of a significant relationship, graduation, or job loss are all examples of instances that might trigger a depressed mood.

The feeling of depression is one of emotional suffering, sometimes seen as a mental analogue of physical pain. Someone who is depressed may be said to have a ‘heavy heart’, or if more seriously depressed be ‘broken-hearted’, because of a common sensation of the emotion in the chest. Other somatic expressions can be a sense of ‘low spirits’, a ‘drag’ or being weighed down, and a heaviness in breathing, expressed as despondent or dejected sighing. It may also be associated with apathy, boredom, emptiness and lack of any positive source of interest or joy.

Depression - in this non-medical sense - may be caused by a loss or personal failure (as in sadness), personal rejection, or indeed by any undesired outcome or situation, particularly if the situation happens or continues despite the efforts of the subject. In addition to sadness, there can in a depressed mood be a conscious resignation that the unpleasant situation is difficult to change. Usually whatever causes the state of depression is consciously recognised as the cause, which is not necessarily the case with longer-term clinical depression. Other conscious factors in maintaining depression may be loneliness and long-term stress.

External affective signs of depressed mood also include a physical hunching or stooping, or putting the head in the hands, and an appearance of being physically subdued, and flatness of speech.

Sadness and sorrow tend to refer to a feeling about specific events, whereas ‘depression’ can be a state of more generalised, and possibly chronic, gloom and despondency that is not relieved by companionship or hope. Sadness is more likely to involve weeping as an external sign, and the corresponding subjective experience of tension in the throat.

Depression can be the result of many factors, individually and acting in concert.

Reactions to events, often a loss in some form, are perhaps the most obvious causes. This loss may be obvious, such as the death of a loved one, or having moved from one house to another (mainly with children), or less obvious, such as disillusionment about one’s career prospects. Monotonous environments can be depressing. A lack of control over one’s environment can lead to feelings of helplessness. Domestic disputes and financial difficulties are common causes of a depressed mood. Love, or lack of being able to express your feelings can lead to a feeling of unexplainable sadness or grief.

Sometimes the depressed mood may relate more to internal processes or even be triggered by them. Pessimistic views of life or a lack of self-esteem can lead to depression. Illnesses and changes in cognition that occur in psychosis and dementias, to name but two, can lead to depression. Depression may also be comorbid with cardiovascular disorders.

Lahat tayo  ay may mga bagay na pinapangarap..

at minsan, dumarating ang mga pagkakataon upang ating marating, maabot o makamtan ang mga pangarap na ito…

natatangay tayo ng masarap na pakiramdam na sumasabay tayo sa agos ng ating mga pangarap…

at hindi natin namamalayan na meron din pala itong hangganan…

read the signs…

read between the lines…

at sasampal sa atin ang isang masakit na katotohanan na siyang gigising sa atin…

hindi pala pangarap…

isa palang panaginip…

isang bagay na hindi pwedeng mangyari.. hindi pwedeng matupad…

isa palang suntok sa buwan…

kelangan ko nang gumising…

kelangan ko nang bumangon…

kelangan ko nang harapin ang katotohanan…

move on…

Madalas tinatanong tayo ng mga kaibigan natin, Kumusta na?… at kadalasan rin ang ating sagot, okey lang.. pero okey nga lang ba?.. bilang tao, marami tayong iba-ibang emosyon na nararamdaman partikular sa bawat oras at sitwasyon… madalas kahit hindi okey, sinasabi nating okey lang, ngunit bakas naman sa ating mga kilos at mukha ang ating nadarama… at hindi natin ito maikukubli lalo na sa harap ng ating mga mahal sa buhay… kaya ang ating mga kaibigan kinukulit tayo at pilit na inaalam ano nga ba ang dahilan nito.. minsan naiinis tuloy tayo dahil sa mga kakulitang ito.

Siguro dapat matuto ring tayo sabihin ang hindi okey… kung iyon naman talaga ang ating nadarama ng mga oras na iyon, kaya nga meron tayong mga kaibigan at mahal sa buhay upang tayoy tulungan at damayan sa mga ganitong oras. Minsan, kung gusto nating mag-isa o sarilinan na lang muna, siguro matuto ring tayong sabihin na "hindi okey, pero gusto ko munang mapag-isa, alam ko namang nariyan lang kayo para sa akin.." sa mga ganitong paraan, naiiwasan natin ang hindi pagkakaunawaan.

Isa pang sitwasyon na madalas nating sinasabi ang okey lang ay kapag may nakagawa sa atin ng kasalanan ang isang kaibigan… " pasensiya na" o "sorry.." ang ating maririnig, at sasagutin naman ng "okey lang.." pero okey nga lang ba talaga?.. sinasabi nating okey lang pero hindi naman natin kinakausap yung tao, iniiwasang makasalubong, iniiwasang makausap sa telepono o kahit ang hindi pagtetext sa mobile phone na dati naman nating ginagawa… ang mga maliit na bagay na ito ay nadarama at napapansin naman ng mga taong iyon, hindi naman sila siguro manhid upang hindi mapansin na may "nagbago"… 

Yung mga maliit na bagay na ginagawa nating pag-iwas na akala natin ay okey lang, ang madalas ang siyang pinagmumulan ng pagkasira o paglayo ng isang kaibigan…pero siguro isipin muna natin kung gaano nga ba kagrabe yung kasalanang iyon, sapat na ba iyon upang itapon o kalimutan ang isang pinagsamahan ng magkaibigan?.. baket niya ba nagawa iyon?.. may kasalanan din ba tayo?… Okey lang ba na itapon ang isang pagkakaibigan?… sana naman hindi.

Sayang naman… sayang, kung nagkaroon lang sana ng tamang komunikasyon at nasabi sana nating "hindi okey.." at nasabi natin ang ating totoong nadarama, baka naisalba pa… nagawaan pa sana ng paraan.

(itutuloy…)

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. 

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: 
don’t step on the ducks!" 

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. 
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their 
best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. 

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. 

St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a 
duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" 

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes 
St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. 
He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. 

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all 
eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. 

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. 
Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on 
… very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. 

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you 
for all of eternity?" 

The guy says, "I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!" 

Mabuti pa ang unan mo kasama pag gabi.
Mabuti pa ang kumot mo kasiping sa tabi.
Sa pag-uwi mo sila ang ‘yong kasama,
At sa pagtulog wala ng iba.
Iyan ba nama’y pagseselosan ko pa?
Kung maaari lang naman,
Ako na lamang sana ang maaari mong gawin
na kumot at unan mo…

Mabuti pang panyo mo may dampi sa ‘yong pisngi.
At sa tuwing kausap ka’y laging nakangiti.
Sa pag-uwi ko ‘yan ang naaalala,
At sa pagtulog wala ng iba.
‘Yan ba nama’y malilimutan ko pa?
Kung maaari lang naman ako na lamang sana,
Ang maaari mong gawin na kumot at unan mo…

Pangarap kita, kahit papano pa kita isipin…
Pangarap kita, dinggin mo sana ang aking awitin…
Pangarap kita, gawin mo sana akong pangarap mo rin…

Mauti pa ang baso may tikim ng ‘yong halik.
Naiinggit ang labi kong laging nananabik.
Sa aking paggising ‘yan ang naaalala,
Tuwing umaga wala ng iba.
‘Yan ba nama’y maiiwasan ko pa?
Kung maaari lang naman, ako na lamang sana…
Ang maaari mong gawin na kumot at unan mo…

Kung maaari lang naman… ikaw na lamang sana…
Ang maaari kong gawin na kumot at unan ko…

I have
                    been waiting,
                    waiting for such a long time
                    to find my special love
                    who is just for me…

Once I
                    thought
                    I found her
                    That was so very long ago.
                    There was love
                    but
                    somehow it faded
                    into the night
                    and disappeared into the fog.

I have
                    been storing
                    up my love for a lot
                    of years needing to find
                    someone special to share it with

I have
                    waited so patiently
                    so very patiently.
                    I want to look for
                    the person now.

Someday,
                    maybe just
                    someday, we will meet and
                    instantly know
                    that we are meant to be

I’m
                    waiting for love..
                    I’m waiting for love…

Will I
                    ever find you?
                    Will I?