The Philippines is…
50. Where the most happening places are not where the party is. Instead it’s where the gang wars happen, where women strip and where the people overthrow a president.
49. Where even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.
48. Where everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition
47. Where mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.
46. Where everything can be forged.
45. Where school is considered the second home and the mall considered the third.
44. Where Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
43. Where every street has a basketball court and every town only has one public school.
42. Where all kinds of animals are edible.
41. Where people speak all kinds of languages, and still call it Tagalog and where it is fast becoming unfashionable to speak English/Spanish.
40. Where students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
39. Where call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses, where doctors study to become nurses for employment abroad.
38. Where driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.
37. Where flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.
36. Where the tourist spots are where Filipinos do not (or cannot) go.
35. Where the personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.
34. Where all 13-year-olds are alcoholic.
33. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
32. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.
31. Where people can pay to defy the law.
30. Where everything and everyone is spoofed.
29. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Ralph Lauren and Tommy Hilfiger (peke)!
28. Where the honking of car horns is a way of life.
27. Where being called a bum is never offensive.
26. Where floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.
25. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.
24. Where crossing the street involves running for your dear life.
23. Where wearing your national colors makes you baduy.
22. Where billiards is a sport, and darts is a bar game.
21. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cell phones. (GSM-galing sa magnanakaw)
20. Where insurance does not work.
19. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty - clean water is for sale (35 pesos per gallon).
18. Where the church governs the people (owwss!!!) and where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!)
17. Where University of the Philippines is where all the weird people go. Ateneo is where all the nerds go. La Salle is where all the Chinese go. College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go, and University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.
16. Where fast food is a diet meal.
15. Where traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.
14. Where all the trees in the city are below six feet.
13. Where being held up is normal. It happens to everyone.
12. Where kids dream of becoming pilots, doctors and basketball players.
11. Where rodents are normal house pets.
10. Where the definition of traffic is the "non-movement" of vehicles.
9. Where the fighter planes of the 1940s are used for military engagements, and the new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
8. Where Nora Aunor is an acclaimed actress and Boy Abunda is the best talk show host, where the population knows more their showbiz stars better than their national heroes and past presidents, knows more of showbiz gossips than their national history and current events.
7. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.
6. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and where the news provides the drama.
5. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment.
4. Where finding a deer on the road will be a phenomenon.
3. Where people can get away with stealing trillions of pesos, but not for a thousand.
2. Where being an hour late is still considered punctual. (Grabe talaga ‘to!)
1. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not pay their tax) —- than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries.
0. Where everyone wants to leave the country!
